Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Unbelief & Expectations

So tomorrow is the day.

In celebration my coworkers and I went out to dinner.  They each congratulated me and when told of my nervousness, each said, “You’ll do great,” or, “You’re more than capable!” or, “That sounds like a lot of work...you’re going to be great at it!” without hesitation.  They said it earnestly, having genuine confidence in my ability.

There are many demons I still battle, and the one that seems to cling the closest is the beast of Never Enough.  He found me in my childhood and latched on.

I was never enough to my peers, and even my parents reinforced the belief of inability.  Six A’s disappeared as the spotlight closed in one B and suddenly my hard work throughout the semester wasn’t enough.  It was never enough.  I was never enough.  In retrospect, I believe this is what led to my addiction to relationships and sex, because even if I wasn’t good at anything else, I was good at what the porn stars taught me—what I thought redeemed me from every other failure—and I fed off the only validation I had.  (Today, I believe this to be the root of heartache for many women.)

This lifestyle, I’m starting to realize, is one of the reasons I never finished school.  I have never been enough, so if life tells me I will never be enough.  Why try?  If I know how it ends, continuing to try is futile.  So, I settled in as teller, and would have happily been one for the next 50 years.  Not for lack of ambition or desire, but for lack of belief that I could ever be anything else.

I am still battling this demon, which is why I’m terrified of this new path.  Never Enough tells me I’m a fool for taking a risk and leaving the bank.  I’ll probably be unemployed within the month, because they’ll realize I can’t do anything.  This noise echoes in my head.

As these thoughts have played out throughout the last couple of months, the Holy Spirit has been my greatest advocate.

He lays his hand on my soul, shooing Never Enough away.  With him around, it doesn’t matter if I’m not enough.  He places hands on mine and guides me.  He takes my thoughts and steers them.  My words?  No, those aren’t my words, those are his.

Child, I hear him say.  Pride comes in so many forms.  You place too much on yourself as if you have had control over anything in your life.  As if a different intellect would have granted you a different path from that chosen by God.  As if money would have changed your socials realms.  You are here for nothing you have had or have not had.  You are here by the very hand of God.  Quell the beast of Never Enough, because it is not about being enough.  If it were, all humanity would be relinquished to pits of fire.  You are here in this moment, in this life, as you are, because God’s hand is over you and has placed you in a specific way in a specific position in the world—to glorify Him.

If this alone is the purpose of your life, and if all things bring glory to the Father, however could you fail?  Even if you were to run against God, He would be able to use this for His purpose.  Look eternally into the folds of life and see that you are here not because of your capabilities—though you are very capable—but because God has fashioned this just so in your life.  Remove you.  Take the pressure off of yourself.  And place focus instead on He who controls all.  He who brought you to it will bring you through it.  We were with you through the interviews, we’ll be with you through the rest of it.

He brings to mind years ago, me sitting in my living room with my very first small group.  We talked of dreams.  I had none.  Afraid to dream from fear of failure, lacking direction, my life had no goals.  I wish I could find in all my journals what I had written when forced to list gifts and talents—and when I prayed to God for a career that would bring me joy in serving Him.

And now I believe I have just that.

The answering of prayers is a terrifying thing.  Bryan spoke on Sunday how we pray to God over our circumstances, but we don’t expect Him to answer us.

We come to Jesus in prayer, we come out of devotion, but our devotion is devoid of any expectation.  We don’t expect Jesus to move, we pray about our marriage because we should pray about our marriage, but we don’t expect him to move in our marriage.  We pray about our sick children, but we don’t expect Him to do a miracle.  We pray about the season of unemployment, and the pink slips, and the financial and health crisis we may be going through.  We pray out of devotion, but there’s no sense of expectation.  Friends, this is a travesty.  What the text teaches us is if God can handle a dead Jesus, he can handle a dead marriage.  If God can handle a dead Jesus, He can handle a pink slip.  If God can handle a dead Jesus, He can handle a sick child.  If God can handle a dead Jesus, He can handle any situation that comes into your life.  Friends, don’t just go to God out of duty, but when you go to Him expect—expect Him to work in your life.

More often than not, my focus is on me.  What I can do.  What I can’t do.  It’s no mystery the beast of
Never Enough is fed, because it is by this self-centeredness that he lives.  Truly this says of me that my expectations of God are nonexistent, because my expectations rest solely on me.  And what happens when expectations are placed on a sinner?

The flesh controls what reins it is given and fails miserably.

When God is given the reins, when expectations rest in the hands of He Who created the universe, created my very being—when there is a certainty of fulfillment and not just a hope for it, when we trust that our God means good for us—then we are released from a bondage of slavery to the expectations we have for ourselves.

That peace that transcends all understanding?  That is exactly what that sounds like to me.