It's interesting to be viewed as the "bad guy" when you've done nothing wrong.
Have you ever found yourself in that situation?
I didn't think I would have ever found myself here, in this hurting, dark place, being attacked, bullied, and hated over nothing.
We claim words have no strength over us, but there is enough power in them to turn a heart. Or in this case, several hearts.
I've done nothing. I've lived my life under the Lord, forgiving generously. Hurt after hurt I've forgiven, because God calls me to. I've forgiven and forgiven.
Now a whole family hates me. For what? What have I done? I surely have not done what the other has done to me.
I have not called names. I have not lashed out. I did not attack her beloved.
And yet, here I am. Hated. Because I refused to let myself be bullied.
How could Jesus love the men who beat him? How could he love the men who strung him up on that cross?
I sit here thinking, "God, all I've done is protect myself...I'm so tired of the hurt. I just want to be safe. Safe from the violent human hands and emotions threatening my heart and mental health on a daily basis...what else could I have done?"
Is there really all there is, is to let ourselves be beaten up, day in and day out? To love unconditionally, to forgive mercifully, continuously, even when the attacker keeps attacking...is that what we are called to do?
My flesh says no. But God, but God, what do you say?
Do you hear my cries? My pleas for help? I want to surrender. Stop the pain. Stop this agony. Take me in your arms and shut out the harsh words and the eyes that cut.
I've done nothing.
Have I done something? Please play before my vision any wrongdoings. Let me make sense of this catastrophe. I cannot stand much more.
My body, my soul, my heart are weakened. I have no strength.
Comfort me, oh my Lord. My defender. Righteous one. Father, where are you and where is your hand in this?
