Like a little kid
I think it’s
strange that you think I’m funny
‘Cause he never did
Jacob didn’t think I was funny.
No, Jacob thought I was stupid. And that translated into every thoughtless
word he spoke to me over the course of our relationship.
Even when our time together came to an end, I held onto
that wound. Held onto it by holding my
mouth. I fell into the backdrop of every
conversation, keeping my thoughts to myself.
So, a few months after the break-up, when Landon asked me
out, I was nervous.
Would he rip down
my ideas?
Would he sneer at
my dreams?
Would he find me to
be stupid just as Jacob had?
We sat across the small table from one another, questions
rattling in my head. But the
conversation moved along smoothly, and I found all my fears were quieted by
one, singular sound.
A laugh.
Is he laughing at me?
I studied him, discreetly, but pointedly.
No! He was laughing with me! I was funny! I am funny! Victory!
I returned his genuine laugh with a warm smile, beginning to relax, enjoying our time
together.
As the evening continued, and he continued to laugh with
me, something shifted in my being. My
equilibrium jarred, I took just a moment to process what I was feeling.
Warmth.
Understanding. Connectedness.
Hearing Taylor Swift’s song this morning, I cried. I didn’t realize how such a small moment had
meant so much.
These days, in dating, there are a few things on which I
am not willing to compromise.
Believer, check.
Non-smoker, check.
Laughter. Check.
The ability to laugh with me. Laughter can carry people through so much,
and that’s why I think it’s God’s life-raft in troubled times and a bond that
cements two hearts together through both wonderful and not-so-wonderful times.
If God does have marriage in His plans for my life, I
know it will be a divined friendship with a man I love very deeply. When we’re old and grey and all our parts are
failing, after we’ve spent a lifetime pouring into the least of these,
evangelizing and discipling, I want to curl up into my husband’s wrinkled arms
and laugh about losing my dentures down the sink, the test results from the
young doctor who doesn’t know anything, and mostly just the wonderful life God
bestowed upon us and all the many lessons we learned through His grace, love,
and mercy.
And for the first
time what’s past is past, Taylor sings.
She’s right. There’s
no looking back. Only ahead.
In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of
pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is
refreshed.
—Khalil Gibran
