Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Grand Ballroom of Receiving

On Saturday, we began our excursion standing in the street in a circle of prayer, thanking God and asking for His safekeeping over our travels.

We were spending a weekend in Hot Springs, AR, as a family.  So, we went on our way, women piled in one car and the men in another.  The next three hours were filled with deep conversation.

When we arrived at the condo, although its beauty was anticipated, I could not have engineered such exquisite splendor in my own mind.  The waves landing on the rocks, the red hues of dusk dancing with the fading aquamarine sky.  An overwhelming expanse of God’s glory was placed directly in front of us.


As we readied for dinner, my heart overflowed with love.  From God’s immediate presence in both the scenery and the family that surrounded me.  Peace and joy filled my spirit.

In our lives there are moments God has designated for our feasting and celebration.  These moments are born from walking on the path He carved so delicately for our hearts—a path whose only direction leads closer to Him.

As I stood near the banks of the water, sunset draped over our shoulders, I both held him and beheld him.

Just as Jesus beheld Simon, as he looked into Simon, I looked into him and saw multitudes of clarity.  His heart.  The path God carved for him.  For me.  For us.  I saw God Himself in the moment.  A smile.  God was joyous.


The weekend carried on.  Family dinners, trips to Kroger for groceries, an unfinished game of Cranium, shopping on the strip.  Out of all of our many pleasant, endearing activities, my favorite was that which took place on Sunday morning.

As a family, we sat around the small dining table, our stomachs delighting in fresh cinnamon rolls.  Hot coffee in hand, we opened our Bibles.  We were led in a special time with the Lord, questions were asked, and prayer was said by all at the end.  I reveled in the place I never thought I’d be.  In my sweetest dreams never did it occur to me that my heart’s desires would be met—and so very all at once, and so very out of nowhere.

My heart has been so tenderized by the hardships of a past life, so achy and wounded that only Christ alone could rehabilitate me.  He came in and filled the brokenness with Himself.  And only after God dressed the wound could I be prepared for love.  Only after loving God completely would I be capable of loving others.  Only after letting God love me would I be able to let others love me. 

Suddenly I have a love, a brother, a sister, a mother, and a father.  I have a spiritual family.

I loved God when I had nothing (and by “nothing” I was still very, very blessed).  No career.  No family.  No love to call my own.  I called on Him and loved Him still, though others received and I did not.  I did not expect Him to prepare my heart for a receiving of such magnitude, such weight, such glory.  And I love Him now in this very moment, not for His plentiful gifts, but because of His faithful love of me, for me, and to me, a constant outpouring of adoration, which showed itself not only in the giving of my heart’s desires, but in the quiet wait before the grand reception.